Friday, October 23, 2009
Questions
"Is This Desire?"
Joseph walked on and on the sunset
Went down and down coldness
Cooled their desire and Dawn said
"Let's build a fire"
The sun dressed the trees in green
And Joe said
"Dawn I feel like a king"
And Dawn's neck and her feet were bare
Sweetness in her golden hair
Said "I'm not scared"
Turned to her and smiled
Secrets in his eyes
Sweetness of desire
Is this desire, enough enough
To lift us higher, to lift above ?
Hour long
By hour, may we two stand
When we're dead, between these lands
The sun set behind his eyes
And Joe said : "Is this desire"
Is this desire, enough enough
To lift us higher, to lift above ?
Is this desire, enough enough
Enough inside, is this desire ?
PJ HARVEY
Knowing
I read an interview in a fashion mag.. The woman said that she wanted to be known.. That it is more important than being loved. ..known deeply inside deeply known . When someone knows you it is no longer ephemeral, it is not a state or a stage.
knowing is not love... but something deeper. I want that.
You want to start at the middle. I want to start here and go to there I dont want to skip the process....miss the process.. but you don't want friendship and so there is no place to start.
The starter gun will go off soon.
knowing is not love... but something deeper. I want that.
You want to start at the middle. I want to start here and go to there I dont want to skip the process....miss the process.. but you don't want friendship and so there is no place to start.
The starter gun will go off soon.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Rilke
Childhood
It would be good to give much thought, before
you try to find words for something so lost,
for those long childhood afternoons you knew
that vanished so completely -and why?
We're still reminded-: sometimes by a rain,
but we can no longer say what it means;
life was never again so filled with meeting,
with reunion and with passing on
as back then, when nothing happened to us
except what happens to things and creatures:
we lived their world as something human,
and became filled to the brim with figures.
And became as lonely as a sheperd
and as overburdened by vast distances,
and summoned and stirred as from far away,
and slowly, like a long new thread,
introduced into that picture-sequence
where now having to go on bewilders us.
Translated by Edward Snow
It would be good to give much thought, before
you try to find words for something so lost,
for those long childhood afternoons you knew
that vanished so completely -and why?
We're still reminded-: sometimes by a rain,
but we can no longer say what it means;
life was never again so filled with meeting,
with reunion and with passing on
as back then, when nothing happened to us
except what happens to things and creatures:
we lived their world as something human,
and became filled to the brim with figures.
And became as lonely as a sheperd
and as overburdened by vast distances,
and summoned and stirred as from far away,
and slowly, like a long new thread,
introduced into that picture-sequence
where now having to go on bewilders us.
Translated by Edward Snow
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Same old..
Same old..rush the sand building up .. ready to form a storm. Lets see where it will take me.. revisit the familiar or find a new trajectory.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thinkin to much
We think too much of love. I would rather have loyalty, commitment, friendship and passion. They can exist on their own, some can evolve one can stagnate and the other can grow stronger. Love is fickle it exist like kindness mixed with pity. Are you kind because you feel bad? Do you love so you can feel?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Words of Wisdom From a Friend.
"I never promised you a rose garden"
I love relationships.
They are amazing in what they uncover about people. How people respond and react. How the blueprint of their ID comes back to haunt them over and over again. Then, the Universe, plops something right in their laps to allow them to look at themselves, i.e. a TEST. And what do we choose to do? Of course we defend ourselves first. When i was tested last week, the first thing I did was say I'd rather quit than to face the challenge, or actually, face the fact that maybe I made someone feel some kind of way about me. I whooped and hollered and cursed and defended and threw out some "F" bombs, called some gang banger friends...the WORKS. Rather than holding still, and stop kicking and screaming your way through this, I had to sit and deal and RELATE. All relationships are this way. There isn't a moment where I have the luxury to say, "well this is just how it is and if you're rolling with me, then....". That's the way it is on ALL sides of a relationship. Something's got to give until it just doesn't. I have no desire to make people think the way I think. I think the way I think and if you choose to participate in my life, this is how it will be. We will work out what we can between the 2 of us. If we reach an impasse, we just do.
I love relationships.
They are amazing in what they uncover about people. How people respond and react. How the blueprint of their ID comes back to haunt them over and over again. Then, the Universe, plops something right in their laps to allow them to look at themselves, i.e. a TEST. And what do we choose to do? Of course we defend ourselves first. When i was tested last week, the first thing I did was say I'd rather quit than to face the challenge, or actually, face the fact that maybe I made someone feel some kind of way about me. I whooped and hollered and cursed and defended and threw out some "F" bombs, called some gang banger friends...the WORKS. Rather than holding still, and stop kicking and screaming your way through this, I had to sit and deal and RELATE. All relationships are this way. There isn't a moment where I have the luxury to say, "well this is just how it is and if you're rolling with me, then....". That's the way it is on ALL sides of a relationship. Something's got to give until it just doesn't. I have no desire to make people think the way I think. I think the way I think and if you choose to participate in my life, this is how it will be. We will work out what we can between the 2 of us. If we reach an impasse, we just do.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Dust Storms
The scrutiny of the storm
I am profoundly disappointed that you are as I expect.. It was certain. As certain as most certain things. Predictable. I kept a distance you said I was cold. You said I want to wake up next tome . Then I thought ok.
I want to fuck but I need to feel. I can’t do it any other way. I know it is misplaced but I am the one losing myself. Reality always finds me. I told you that. It is the back and forth the hinges that keeps the door on the frame.
But I knew that this was certain.
Not much survives scrutiny of the storm. Losing myself in that rush the storm, the cyclone that lust is. It sweeps in everything around it until it get to the eye. The silence that is still in motion.
Lust can not survive silence … you suffer silence.
Lust is a storm and I forgot myself..
